Saturday, April 22, 2006
7 signs that you should STOP blogging
(1) You're posting only boring, trivial, personal crap...and your writing style is dull as you do it.
(2) You're so desperate for attention, so sleazy, and so unintelligent...you post nude photos of yourself.
(3) You post inflammatory posts just for shock value (hoping to attract readers), with titles like "Microsoft Sucks", "I'm sick of Google", "Outing myself as a _________", or "I'd kill myself but that would please too many of you morons".
(4) You decide to try to copy the eccentric or idiosyncratic business models of Post Secret, Weblogsinc., Federated Media Publishing, Boing Boing, Doc Searls, Seth Godin, PhotoMatt, or other successful, inimitable bloggers and ventures.
(5) You exploit vulnerable infants for selfish purposes, by relentlessly posting their photos, and even information about where you live and where your kids go to school, church, play, or shopping...with no regard for their safety and privacy.
Do you ignore the news reports about online predators who seek children to kidnap, torture, rape, prostitute, mutilate, kill, and cannibalize?
You think you're magically immune from these deviants, because you're on some mystical path that makes the Universe grant you special favors?
Then you're more insane than I thought you were.
(6) You begin to publish posts you know are stupid, worthless, unhelpful...just so you can display yet another in the infinite series of photos of YOURSELF! (ugh!!!)
If you must look at yourself so much, why not take up permanent residence in a hall of mirrors?
When a blog is full of photos of the blogger, we can't help but wonder when the blogger will get a life and do something beside gaze lovingly at their own unremarkable flesh.
(7) Your blog degenerates from a business or marketing blog, to a blog about one of your hobbies, or how you're building a new home, or ...and you seriously think that's okay, because "anything goes" in the blogosphere.
STOP BLOGGING NOW
If you're guilty of any of these heinous crimes against the blogosphere...
...then, please, do everybody a big fat favor, and give it up.
Stop blogging, take up stamp collecting, and delete your lousy blog. It's just wasting our time and diluting the blogosphere with pointless drivel.
[Inspired by the wit and wisdom of the Harry Potter Assassination Squad, a secret blogging cabal funded and fostered by the New Reformed Insane Blog Media Network.]
Posted by steven edward streight at 4/22/2006 01:49:00 AM